Have you ever been let down?

.. everyone put me down. Family prooves that they're untrustworthy. Friends stab me in the back w/ or w/o intension. You put me on a high horse, only to let me fall off. You're not there to catch me. Once again, "you'll come to [support] me." This is so routine in my mind at this point; it's as if you never opened your mouth at all. - As if i never heard your words at all. If it goes through one ear & out the other, did you ever really truely say anything? Can you proove it? Conference Game. Tournement. Even just a scrimmage, i only look to you for encouragement. I just want to see your face, your eyes glued to every move i make, every critical decision i make on the court. I want to hear you cheer me on. I want your support. So, i ask myself... like usual, "how does it feel to want?" I tell myself, "some things i desire, i will never get." I shake my head & come back to reality. I shouldn't have to fight for your encouragement or support. You UNECESSARILY promised. Well, i'm holding the ball, where are you? I'm looking around... the referee blows the whistle; catches my attention. I slowly put my head down.. tell myself to concentrate on killing this horrifying-frustration-carrying-pessimistic-covered little ball. I'll take out all my negative emotions on you little white ball. Forgive me. Anger, disappointment. Beginning serve. You didn't show. "Shocking" eh? "Utter disbelief?" Hah, that's funny; Hysterical. Final score: 25-12. We won. Multiple people confront my team & i. They congratulate & over-whelm me w/ compliments. So many people. Everything gets blurry & i try to make out your complexion.. lie to myself that you had come. But, you never did arrive. Put you to the back of my mind & accept the greetings. The last thing on my mind now, is you, until i step foot off the court. I am mad. But why? Because you didn't show? Nah. Am i upset w/ myself for allowing myself to believe that you'd come? Absolutely not. Never, for a second did i. Never had faith in that. Why am i so upset then? Oh! Now i remember, because i repeatedly waste my time & breath inviting & informing you about something so important in my life. I waste my time thinking about how it'd be if you'd just attend. I can ALWAYS pick up my ball. It will ALWAYS be there WHENEVER i wana play; to relax my emotions & take my mind to a different place... a different, completely seperate world w/ just me, myself & i. Where were you? You put me on a high horse, only to let me fall.