You need me, i know; I'm there in a flash.
The roles are switched.
Now, where are you?
It's funny how this works..
When the story is flipped, you never seem to come through.
You put it on my soul & i sort of become the keeper of your trust.
Yet, i cannot even trust you myself.
It's as if the hypocritcal misjudgement of the meaning of "reliability" has been forsaken & completely blocked out from true exsistence.
How come you are not here?
How come you will not answer my call?
How come everytime i run to you with my arms open wide, you return to your own mind & back away.
How come you repeatedly deny my tears?
How come you don't understand that i need you.
I need your comforting guidance speaking to me.
I need the adivce and amnesty you always deliver.
I need the tables to be even, not crooked.
I need it so that we can finally move forward & at that precise moment live in the present.
I need to know that you are true & can become the only substance that he calls forth.
Why am i allowing you to dismantle me from myself?
Why should you have the reference to become that important in my life?
Why would you do this?
Why can't you see that this is destroying my conciencious feeling towards, not only you, but everyone of the sort.
Why are you the only person that had the strength to rip my heart out of my hands and run?
So, here nor there, where are you?
So you show up once more into my life.
So, i don't know what to think; what's suppose to come with this.
So what am i suppose to do?
So, i guess all i can say is that i don't miss you, i never did, i never will.
You come in & out of my life.
You rejected my love & all that came upon the emotions.
You presented before me what it's like to really be miserable.
You ruined my life, or tried to; without intension.
You aren't there for me..
You don't know me.
You never loved me.
You are nothing much more in my eyes than the very person who hasn't the chance.
You scarred me.
They'll always be there, no matter how hard i try to wipe them away, they will forever be apart of me.
Which is why i am so careful.
I just wish i could go back in time and warn myself, to be more cautious; when falling in love.
No man nor soul shall ever have that much control over how i think.
The constant arguements,
the constant physicalities,
the constant threats,
and let's not forget the constant, never-ending, pressure.
You are weak.
You are nothing.
You are the only subjectified mistake i will ever own up to.
You are gone.
You are non-exsistent in my universe.
You are not allowed back into my mind.
You and i are done.
I am strong.
Because i got help.
I am important.
Because i know there's more to a man than just what comes forth first.
I am the definition of being imperfect.
But, i shall not let my defaults destroy who i am.
I am here.
I am ready to live.
I am capable of accomplishing anything.
I can gain whatever information i need or desire.
I am alone.
And alone i am strong.
Because i know that no one will ever understand anything i need except myself.
No one will ever understand how i am living or how i am trying unless you have been put in my shoes and the roles have been switched.
Now, where are you?
It's funny how this works..
When the story is flipped, you never seem to come through.
You put it on my soul & i sort of become the keeper of your trust.
Yet, i cannot even trust you myself.
It's as if the hypocritcal misjudgement of the meaning of "reliability" has been forsaken & completely blocked out from true exsistence.
Why?
Why do you continue to make me feel so high up there, & important, when all you seem to do is sit back and watch me fall.
& fall hard to the very bottom.
The darkest depths of emotions.
I am reaching up.
Reaching out as far as my arms can stretch.
Only waiting..
Waiting for that magical hand to rescue me from my own depression.
From the lonliness,
From the hatred only towards myself,
From the strain to be so perfect, it only back fires in my face,
From the grief,
From the struggle,
From the way i want to live,
From the permanent imprint of all my mistakes,
From the regrets & all the constant personal mocking of myself, from myself.
Where is my lifeguard?
Who is suppose to be there.
To save me from myself.
Where is my Superman?
Who is suppose to be there.
When i need help.
Where is my knight-in-shinging-armor?
Who is suppose to be there.
When i need comfort and relief.
Where are my parents?
Who are suppose to be there.
When i need advice & their dry shoulders.
Where am i?
Am i only physically here?
By myself?
Mentally dead?
Emotionally drained?
What am i suppose to do when i don't have the slightest clue how to get out of this rut?
You need me, i know; I'm there in a flash.
The roles are switched.
Now, where are you?
I.NEED.HELP.
The roles are switched.
Now, where are you?
It's funny how this works..
When the story is flipped, you never seem to come through.
You put it on my soul & i sort of become the keeper of your trust.
Yet, i cannot even trust you myself.
It's as if the hypocritcal misjudgement of the meaning of "reliability" has been forsaken & completely blocked out from true exsistence.
How come you are not here?
How come you will not answer my call?
How come everytime i run to you with my arms open wide, you return to your own mind & back away.
How come you repeatedly deny my tears?
How come you don't understand that i need you.
I need your comforting guidance speaking to me.
I need the adivce and amnesty you always deliver.
I need the tables to be even, not crooked.
I need it so that we can finally move forward & at that precise moment live in the present.
I need to know that you are true & can become the only substance that he calls forth.
Why am i allowing you to dismantle me from myself?
Why should you have the reference to become that important in my life?
Why would you do this?
Why can't you see that this is destroying my conciencious feeling towards, not only you, but everyone of the sort.
Why are you the only person that had the strength to rip my heart out of my hands and run?
So, here nor there, where are you?
So you show up once more into my life.
So, i don't know what to think; what's suppose to come with this.
So what am i suppose to do?
So, i guess all i can say is that i don't miss you, i never did, i never will.
You come in & out of my life.
You rejected my love & all that came upon the emotions.
You presented before me what it's like to really be miserable.
You ruined my life, or tried to; without intension.
You aren't there for me..
You don't know me.
You never loved me.
You are nothing much more in my eyes than the very person who hasn't the chance.
You scarred me.
They'll always be there, no matter how hard i try to wipe them away, they will forever be apart of me.
Which is why i am so careful.
I just wish i could go back in time and warn myself, to be more cautious; when falling in love.
No man nor soul shall ever have that much control over how i think.
The constant arguements,
the constant physicalities,
the constant threats,
and let's not forget the constant, never-ending, pressure.
You are weak.
You are nothing.
You are the only subjectified mistake i will ever own up to.
You are gone.
You are non-exsistent in my universe.
You are not allowed back into my mind.
You and i are done.
I am strong.
Because i got help.
I am important.
Because i know there's more to a man than just what comes forth first.
I am the definition of being imperfect.
But, i shall not let my defaults destroy who i am.
I am here.
I am ready to live.
I am capable of accomplishing anything.
I can gain whatever information i need or desire.
I am alone.
And alone i am strong.
Because i know that no one will ever understand anything i need except myself.
No one will ever understand how i am living or how i am trying unless you have been put in my shoes and the roles have been switched.
Now, where are you?
It's funny how this works..
When the story is flipped, you never seem to come through.
You put it on my soul & i sort of become the keeper of your trust.
Yet, i cannot even trust you myself.
It's as if the hypocritcal misjudgement of the meaning of "reliability" has been forsaken & completely blocked out from true exsistence.
Why?
Why do you continue to make me feel so high up there, & important, when all you seem to do is sit back and watch me fall.
& fall hard to the very bottom.
The darkest depths of emotions.
I am reaching up.
Reaching out as far as my arms can stretch.
Only waiting..
Waiting for that magical hand to rescue me from my own depression.
From the lonliness,
From the hatred only towards myself,
From the strain to be so perfect, it only back fires in my face,
From the grief,
From the struggle,
From the way i want to live,
From the permanent imprint of all my mistakes,
From the regrets & all the constant personal mocking of myself, from myself.
Where is my lifeguard?
Who is suppose to be there.
To save me from myself.
Where is my Superman?
Who is suppose to be there.
When i need help.
Where is my knight-in-shinging-armor?
Who is suppose to be there.
When i need comfort and relief.
Where are my parents?
Who are suppose to be there.
When i need advice & their dry shoulders.
Where am i?
Am i only physically here?
By myself?
Mentally dead?
Emotionally drained?
What am i suppose to do when i don't have the slightest clue how to get out of this rut?
You need me, i know; I'm there in a flash.
The roles are switched.
Now, where are you?
I.NEED.HELP.
